Never Quit

The past 2 years, especially, have been tough! From a cushy job and air-conditioned building, I went to doing practically manual labour, under the hot sun no less sometime or most of the time. Being away from my wife and son is not helping either.

I keep getting the same question from friends and relatives, "Why don't you go back? You had a nice job?". Often asked with either a tone of pity or incredulity. Most of the time, I just give polite replies. However, silently, their reactions only bolster my resolve. To me, their reaction is a challenge to my ability and like any other challenges I have come across through the years, I will prove them wrong!

You see, about 3 years ago, I packed and left my wife and son in a metropolitan city and came back to Sabah. I had a dream, I wanted to give them a better live. I promised them it wouldn't be long before I invite them to join me. 

Well, in short, I encountered minor setbacks or some might say major ones depending on whether you look at the glass as half empty or half full. My endeavour proved to be tougher than I thought. Lack of funds make my 'project' even tougher to start. That is the first lesson I learned! If you have enough money, you can move mountains and don't have to break a sweat. Unfortunately for me, I don't have enough funding.

So what did I do? Improvised! I make do with what I have, I worked around the problem. Slower start but I will eventually get to where I want. I get my hands dirty and learn how to handle tools like handsaw, hammer and swinging the machette. It is a 360 degree about turn for me. I went from pencil pushing and computer in air conditioned office to manual labour with the open air under scorching hot sun as my office. 

I would be lying if I say that there were no moments when I felt like giving up while toiling under the hot sun but I hardened myself and refused to indulge in self pity. I started something and I promised my wife and son, and I will finish it even if I have to crawl and claw my way there, so help me God! Having said this, you see?! The past few years were not a total loss. It is character building! 

If my business do take off! I will be ready for success because now I appreciate the virtue of discipline and being committed.

3 years ago, I wouldn't have this kind of determination in doing things. When things are rough and you can't see any light at the end of the tunnel, just fight on. Keep on moving, one step at a time. This is not the first time I am in a significant juncture in my live. It happened once when I was in my 20s, I survived it and folks at home would think that I had an above average kinda successful live. After all, I left with only RM300/- in my pocket for a metropolitan city and armed only with an O level. No skills at all! Never even touched a computer before but I adapted. I rose through rank and file, married a wife there and has a son, owned a property.       

Now I am at another cross road and another challenge, I will persevere and see where this road leads me to.

The following is my favourite poem, 

Don't Quit - by Unknown author

When things go wrong as they sometimes will;
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill;
When the funds are low, and the debts are high;
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh;
When care is pressing you down a bit
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Success is failure turned inside out;
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt;
And you can never tell how close you are;
It may be near when it seems afar.
So, stick to the fight when you're hardest hit
It's when things go wrong that you mustn't quit.

What happened to living your advices?

When I was young, my elders lectured and emphasised the following:

1)      The importance of punctuality – Get to school on time, don’t make people wait for you (especially if they were adults),  the early bird gets the worm etc..

2)      The importance of finishing what you start – Don’t do things halfway, must be disciplined, if you always gives up half way, you’ll never be successful in live,

3)       Don’t daydream like Mat Jenin – Mat Jenin is a character who always have lofty dreams of making it rich but ends up screwing himself in the end because of his stupidity and complacency.  So I was discouraged from day dreaming and to put words into action. I don’t know how many times I was told not to be complacent that it became annoying because it came to a point when I think I was actually accused or was actually complacent. What was meant (the action) to be an encouragement and warning to me not to take the path of Mat Jenin actually became counter-productive because the way my elders were imparting their wisdom was wrong.

4)      Don’t waster your time doing nothing – Sitting around doing nothing is discouraged. I must always engaged myself in productive activities.